Have you ever come across someone you thought was unfriendly, conceited, or rude, only to later realize you had them all wrong?
Maybe it wasn't until the second, third, or even fourth encounter that you finally had the opportunity to connect with them and see them in a completely different light.
Many of us pass judgment on people because of our own insecurities or an uncomfortable situation we're experiencing. Think about a time you encountered someone on the street, in a grocery store, at church, or in a restaurant. They didn't return your smile or acknowledge your greeting, and before you knew it, you had created an entire story in your head about who they were.
Then later, you discovered that story wasn't even true.
I used to do this more often than I'd like to admit. If someone didn't acknowledge my attempt to interact, I immediately assumed they were unfriendly or rude and decided they weren't worth my attention.
Several years ago, I was walking my dog, Buttercup, in a new neighborhood I had just moved to. I was excited to meet new people and make new friends—not just for me, but for Buttercup too.
I specifically remember one woman and her dog. Every time we crossed paths, she would intentionally walk in another direction and never acknowledge us.
So what did I do?
I immediately labeled her as unfriendly.
As the weeks went by, I stopped smiling when we passed each other and basically ignored her.
Then, a few months later, something changed.
A difficult situation I had been dealing with was finally behind me. For the first time in a long while, I felt like there really was a light at the end of the tunnel. As I started feeling better about myself, I also found myself becoming more open to others.
I decided to stop ignoring this woman and simply start saying hello.
Over time, she became friendly with us and eventually explained that she never trusted her dog around other dogs, so she intentionally tried to avoid those interactions.
Just like that, the story I had created completely disappeared.
Had I not passed judgment so quickly, I could have avoided all of those negative feelings and the wasted time believing something that wasn't even true.
The funny thing is, over the years, she's become one of my favorite neighbors to stop and chat with. I love spending time with her dog, and every now and then we reminisce about Buttercup.
It was a reminder that we never really know what someone else is carrying.
So the next time you have an awkward moment with someone—a missed smile, no eye contact, or an interaction that feels uncomfortable—choose kindness first.
Take the initiative to smile or simply say hello.
You never know what someone may be going through, and sometimes what appears to be rude or unfriendly is really something entirely different.
And if you're the one having a not-so-good day, try being the first to offer a smile or a kind word. You may be surprised how much it lifts your own spirits while creating a joyful moment for someone else.
Have a Zenatudinal Day!